And at the end of the month, I am stronger than where I started. Stronger because of my past.
This part two post was meant for a mid-September check in. As you read throughout this post I learned in September this year to slow down and to remind myself of the simpliest reasons why I’m here.
That’s a large question to answer.
In someways, my answer never stays the same. I’ll also talk about the mini self created problem and solution that followed the Friday the 13th Full Moon and new tehniques that have helped me prepare for the last -less than- 90 days of the year.
I’ve already written my history about September’s past in various blog posts. Feel free to catch-up and read up on any of these posts in the links throughout this blog post.
September has typically been the month where I destroy everything I’ve created for myself and my life over the past eight months of the year. This is known as the month where I give up, start over, or internally mourn the loss of my inner self. Going into September this year, I was more concerned about my anxiety than my depression. Two years ago, September 2017 proved to be a rough time for my depression and it definetly kicked my ass that fall season. Last September (2018) had a mixture of depression-anxiety moments and stretched out days or weeks of something internally happening within me. In both 2017 and 2018, I lost the jobs i was working at had completely reset my life in less than 30 days.
And do you know what’s an amazing feeling? That feeling is strength. This September, last September, the one that just ended 13 days ago September- I am still emplyed at the two jobs I work at and I am still enrolled as a Univeristy student!
September 2019’s victory did not mean I went without any hardships. The slip-up I had occured from the 10th-15th (lining up perfectly where I’ve sruggled with mental health on these days of this one month in the past). While this year I didn’t have any issues with the 23rd-30th of the month like in years past, I did have to be mindful about how I was feeling more often through small check-in moments throughout my day (or night).
During the five day stretch of not-so-good mental health, lots of events were going on that week that I didn’t quite handle in the best manor. During that week originally, iW as going to have a stacked week filled with school, work, career fair, exercise, and girl time. In the end, I removed the fitness time and career fair from my schedule before we got to the 10th. By the 11th, hangout time with friends was also moved to the following week.
That week I had my first quizzes on Tuesday and Friday. Then my period started *cue all sorts of fluff stuff* and I began to doubt myself at work… all leading up to the Full Moon! Planetary movements that made that week unbearable for the 20% anxiety and full-on 80% depression-that felt like it was operating at 100%.
Earlier that week, I had gotten my sleep study results and started taking new perscriptions for sleep that I began on the 13th. The day before, I slept through work and school due to stress, anxiety, and lack of sleep from the night before. More on this later in the blog.
I doubted so much and did the only thing I knew how to do: become a hermit and stew everything over mentally and/or to talk to my Mom until I fell asleep. On three of the nights, I talked to my Mom for hours to process through what I was thinkging and feeling.
That was my highest level of training to combat the September blues.
When I had a check-up with my sleep specialist the next week, I told hi about the fact that I slept through one day’s worth of events. His response was that was not normal, even with high amounts of stress, depression, etc. Since starting the new sleep medicine, I’ve had a more restful sleep and have felt better when I start my days in the early mornings.
A deal I made myself in July was a bargain and bribe to train my brain to make it through my 26th September. When I made it through September, I would allow myself to go to Boot Barn (a western retail store) and buy me a Montanna ring. I tend to break rings easily and the “anxiety ring” I’ve had since middle school hasn’t properly fit my hand for a few years now and iit’s currently in my car attached to a homemade braclet. Engraved on the ring is a favorite quote of mine: be the change you wish to see in the world. I’ve been wanting a ring to symbolize and emoitonally mean something to me during the highs and lows of life.
Almost two weeks ago, I bought the exact ring I wanted. The day before buying the ring, I spent my spare time dreaming about what I wanted my intention for this ring. Is it a reminder for happiness? Positivity? Calmness?
This ring for me represents
the beauty and life ceated from internal storms.
That IT IS possible to conquer our fears, doubts, and emotions.
Below are a list of techniques for positive mental health:
- Find what works for you: This will take some deep thinking and experiments. Do you prefer to become a hermit and process your emotions, or do you strive better when you have a secure family member or friend to confine with? I actually do a mix of these two techniques, depending on the mood, situation, and depth of the minor crisis of the day.
- Meditation: Is still the least favorite thing of mine but the best producing medicine. I have been quite well at meditating once a week on Mondays to hep me begin my work week. I am waiting till I am more comfortable doing more sessions on other days of the week. Just spending a little bit of energy in silence can actually be rest for our body and souls.
- One step: What’s one step you can take to improve your mental health? Ideas can range from going on a walk outside in the autumn breeze; taking a 20 minute nap; slowing down on projects and opening up more time for yourself.
- Step away: Where can you step away from some part of your day-to-day activites? Options include turning off social media after 9 pm; taking time for youself during the day; leaving work at home and doing any of your favorite self-care activities.
- Hygeine: This one can be said in any situation. Want to rest? Take a bubule bath. Want to process the emotions and thoughts of the day? A steaming hot (or cold) shower will do. Facemasks and washing your face as also great places to start with small steps towards taking care of your body.
The Last 90 Days Challenge
My boss recommended Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis and Ilistened to the audiobook during the last half of September. October first began the last 90 days challenge, where you participate by doing five small things to strive for your goal aka your Five to Thrive. During these last 90 days of the year, doing five simplistic self-care tasks for you can help you reach a goal that you started the year wtih. Plus, this allows me to end the year just as excited as I began the year! I’ve done quite well with my Five to Thrive goals for the past 13 days and I’m working on preparing myself to continue to stick with this till the end of the year.
1. Drink half your body weight in ounces.
100 ounces of water a day= 12.5 cups of water
2. Read and/or write for 30 minutes a day
3. Wake-up an hour early for myself (I don’t have a set time I have to be anywhere in the mornings and some days my extra hour has begun at 6 am and sometimes as late as 8:30 am).
4. Offline (no technology in bed; technology put away an hour before bed).
5. Ten things I’m grateful for! ❤
How was your September? I’d love to read your recap in the comments and I’ll see you all next time!
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