01.2018

Hello! Good morning or good evening from whenever and wherever you are reading this monthly inventory series writings. If you haven’t noticed yet, I have re-designed my website (if you are viewing this in the WP reader or via email, just check it out when you have the chance) and have also created a Facebook Page! If you are new to the inventory series I write every month, then let me inform you on how this series works: I write down my feelings about what is going on in my life from what I’m eating to my overall feelings. It’s a fun way for me to be transparent enough and also show progress as the months and years go on.

Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy this month’s insight- feel free to connect with me on all major social media platforms, as well as following me on WordPress. More fun blogs and videos to come over the next few months!

Making: While my taste buds haven’t changed with the new year, the food items I have been eating began to change during the last week of December. Slowly but surely, I have been using up the last of my white rice (thank goodness) and will be replacing it with brown rice. Brown rice and quinoa are healthy alternatives to starched white rice. One of the oddest meals I ever make, consists of rice & sliced beets. The meal is my favorite for when I’m trying to use up everything I have in my pantry.

Drinking: The usual. AKA water, coffee, tea, and Gatorade.  I was able to use up all my major brand coffee, except the Dominican coffee that I am using sparingly (because its from out of country). Hopefully, I will be able to go to the grocery store this weekend to get some orange and grape juice, as well as soy milk. Just recently, I made the switch from almond to soy milk. I enjoy both, but soy is a preferred milk choice for me.

Watching: Last month, I was able to finish watching The West Wing and TURN: George Washington’s Spies (season’s three and four). For whichever reason, I am still on a kick for watching political shows. Three days into the new year, and I already have only two episodes left of season two of The Crown. I have limited how much TV I watch (so I can focus on other things in life), so I am looking forward to being more excited to watch TV when I do get the chance to. Like tomorrow morning at 2 am, because I’ll be watching (live, hence why 2 am) New Japan Pro Wrestling’s (NJPW) Wrestle Kingdom 12. I do have a wrestling blog, so that’s where I talk about my wrestling. It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything there, but I just might be able to write my predictions for the show that’s in the morning. ^.^

Reading: I am so glad I was able to finish a book last month (Astrophysics for People in a Hurry). I hadn’t been able to finish a book in over a couple of months, so it felt great to finish the book, as the new year started. I am currently reading The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck. I recalled reading this back in 2010, my sophomore year in English. I also recall not making it all the way through the book, because we were reading it slowly, with a class who didn’t appreciate to read (and were only reading for good grades, not for the sake of reading). Hence why my Junior & Senior year I went over to AP class work, fun fact. At the same time, I am reading a short pamphlet about the introduction to Buddhism before I go to bed each night.

firepit GIF

Loving: The short answer is The Crown, because of the drama that goes within the show. Other than that, simplicity and that I live alone is something I am loving right now. Peaceful and quite house, no pets to worry about (for once, I am glad I don’t have a cat or dog to take care of at the moment). I grew up around nature, and animals so it does feel different being without a animal curled up with (a good book, of course) me.

Book marking: Living on a tight budget doesn’t allow room for impressive spending in all categories. So I have begun making small, homemade bath bombs for my weekly bubble baths (on Wednesdays) so I’m not spending ridiculous amounts on Lush Bath Bombs. Yes, they are lovely but I’d rather buy other Lush products than bath bombs, but that’s me. Check out The Penny Hoarder’s Homemade bath bomb recipe.

Enjoying: Creativity is surging back, in small pieces. This morning, I was able to write 2 pages (by hand) for 30 minutes without distractions, music, or TV on. That was personally, the best I have felt about my writing in several months. I am also enjoying the freedom I have every morning to work on my newly organized self-care, creativity, and spirituality binder. This has helped me work out issues I have with events in the past, and being able to work my way forward.

Smelling: I only had a third left of my fall scented perfume and over the holidays, my Mother took my perfume. Doesn’t bother me, because I am glad to not have it anymore.  The perfumes I do have left are both from bath & body works- vanilla and beautiful day, but those are in the small travel sized containers.  I am now down to two scented candles- one smells like coconut, but I am waiting to use that small one after I finish the larger glass jar candle. The other scented candle has a mixed berry smell. 

Listening: Currently expanding my music back to classical music, at the moment. I’ve begun listening to other various music, but for now, it is back to classical. Helps with calming down in the evenings, and having a gentle morning with several cups of English tea.

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Feeling: While this is not how I am feeling right now, lets talk about the difference between depression and loneliness.

So this was mainly last month, but I didn’t feel like writing about it, because it was too close to what was really going on in my world. It has now been a month since I have been living in my little apartment, by the woods and away from people. While depression hit last month at the worst time (Christmas Eve morning) I was able to get over the fact that it wasn’t depression, it was being (and feeling) alone. 

Depression for me is a feeling of how I am, to myself. No one affects that feeling, its just me. I may believe that life has treated me unfairly, or that the Universe is against me, but that’s not the case, truly. I notice how wrong I am, once I have broken through the curtain of fog. Imagine breaking open the window curtains and the fog disappearing. That’s what happens for me, figuratively, when the depression subsides.

Loneliness, on the other hand, can be felt while you are home alone, or in the presence of friends, family, significant other. Last month, it was loneliness, that began to get to me every day. I would come home, after being at work filled with fabulous people, and I would realize that, due to circumstances, not one of my friends could come over. Friends were busy (I dislike that word so much), on holiday break with family, jobs, etc. Situations occurred that wouldn’t allow me to throw a New Year’s Eve Party or that said friends couldn’t make it over. No one is to blame for any situation or circumstance that occurred, life happens that way.
So in 2018, my goal is to make two new friends this year. In 2017, in retrospect, I continued to build my friendship with two friends who still live in Texas. For making friends in Oklahoma City, I made friends well, and some have decided to leave me, others have stuck by my side. 

I am fine with the one’s who no longer want to be my friend, and thankful for my friends who have stayed by my side, as I have continued to stand by theirs. Over the past few days, I’ve been feeling grateful that not any of my friends have been able to come visit my apartment yet. With my ever workings with time, the Universe, etc. the quote “in divine timing” has played through my head every time plans would fall through. 

How do I feel currently? At peace. Simple and free, I am beginning to feel at peace with the way my life is shaping out to be.

Note:  I am starting to notice a trend within the inventory series. I tend to write more in the feelings section over any other area. 

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How was your holiday break? Did you travel anywhere fun, or have any fond memories from your break? Feel free to let me know in the comment section and all social media platforms! Sincerely, I thank you for taking the time to read my blog today. Feel free to visit my blog, or the contact information page on the blog. 

New Year’s Cheers, 
 Danielle

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